Now another advanced strategy that we use in covert hypnosis is what I call ‘creating rapport hooks’. What you want to do is to get people to actually try and build rapport with you. And the harder they have to work to build rapport with you, the more that rapport will be worth to them, and the more they’ll continue to work to maintain it later on.
Now, how do you get people to work for rapport? ‘Rapport hooks’ have been designed to get people to ask more questions, to come back to you over and over again, in order for you to fill in the gaps.
Let’s imagine, for example, I was telling you a story and I say something like, “So, I arrived at Heathrow airport and as soon as the guy saw my passport he said, ‘Mr. Johnson will you please come with me? We’ve been waiting for you. ‘ So they take me off to a room and, to cut a long story short, I managed to get out there in the end, and I’d missed my appointment.
So I go straight back to the hotel and think about what I’m going to do next.”
Now if you think about it, I’ve given you pieces of information there that really aren’t complete. There should be questions in your mind right now, like why were they waiting for me? What did they do to me when they took me aside to a special room? And this is exactly how we use rapport hooks to send someone into a hypnotic trance.
Now, when we break it down all of that information was packaged almost casually.
The biggest mistake people do when trying to covertly hypnotize someone is they shove information down people’s throat.
The classic example is the slightly insecure rich person telling everyone how great his Porsche is. A more subtle way of actually getting that information across, and having someone earn the right to ask about it, would be to say:
“Well, so, I was there at a party and I offered to give some people a lift, but sadly I only have one spare seat in my car. It’s only a two-seater. So I really couldn’t give everyone a lift.”
Then, when people ask what car he has, he can actually present the information as though it wasn’t even his idea. It’s a much more elegant way of actually giving information, and more importantly, because people have earned the right to have it, it seems that much more important and that much more real.
Using ‘rapport hooks’ can also help you to fractionate rapport. Remember when we use covert hypnosis and fractionation together we are adding a little bit of rapport, then taking it away, adding a little bit of rapport, and then taking it away.
So how does that actually translate into actual behaviour?
Well, to a certain extent you can pay attention to someone – be interested, be focused on them – and then maybe get casually distracted, look around the room, maybe see someone else, AND observe whether they try to re-engage you
(in other words, trying to strike up the conversation again).
If they do, you have already the foundations of covert hypnosis because you understand rapport. And more importantly they are working for it. So when you focus on them completely, they will go deeper into that state of comfort and trust than they were before.
‘Rapport hooks’ are wonderful devices for this. Because, rather than sitting there wondering about, “What do I say next? How can I get his interest back?”, all they have to do is ask you a question about something you’ve already mentioned.
So for example, if I say to someone – as an example – you might tell people, “You know, I’ve just come back from America, and I found that wonderful thing – a little device – that literally allows you to almost read someone else’s thoughts. It’s a crazy idea, but the first time someone used this with me I thought ‘These people have to be kidding. How do they do this?’ But then they showed me the device itself and how it works, and I suddenly went ‘Wow. Think of all of the possibilities that I could use this in.’”
Now, let’s stop there of a moment. If I use this as a rapport hook, the one big theme that’s already open is the fact that I’ve been to America.
Now, someone might ask whereabouts have I been. If I mention something about New York, they might say, “Oh how did you like New York?”
So the point is I’m feeding little bits of information, without completing it, to allow people to then come back to me with questions. And those questions will allow me to develop rapport now that they’ve earned the right to have it and once we develop deep rapport we can send them covertly into a hypnotic trance.
Remember that you want to fractionate this, so that you’re constantly pushing and pulling – putting your attention on them and pulling back a little bit – just to see what happens. The more you do this, the deeper the relationship will develop.
It’s actually a very, very quick way to get to levels of comfort and trust with someone, that in normal circumstances would otherwise be considered far too quick.